Better Than Ten Percent
by audaciousliving
Summary: Zoe's sister comes aboard Serenity as a cook, but to everyone's surprise she has a few hidden talents. Meanwhile she captures the "cuddly" heart of Jayne Cobb and struggles to become a better sister and sister in-law.
1. Chapter 1

I'd been on Serenity for about a week now. It almost felt like old times being around Mal and Zoe again. After the war we split and went our separate ways much to Zoe's dismay. Seein as she's my big sister she's always tried to protect me and keep me safe. In fact during the war she tried her best to keep me from all the fighting, she did the best she could, but it was kinda inevitable no way to really keep anyone away. She and Mal eventually taught me how to shoot and fight; skills that have been pretty useful recently while I've been hopping from ship to gorram ship. But I think I'll stay here for a while here on Serenity; god knows it's been a long time since I've been on her in fact it was before Zoe and wash got married and it's nice to wake up and see some familiar faces.

I got up early today no earlier than usual though since Mal hired me as a cook aboard Serenity, a job I'm more than familiar with; Its what I've been doing since the war ended. Well that and the occasional job as a hired gun, but I think I'll be keeping that to myself. I pulled out my sink in my new bunk and washed my face to wake me up a little, and then brushed through my hair. Unlike Zoe I liked mine out…well unless I was out on a job then it just got in the way. Mom used to tell us it was wild yet beautifully tame; how she came to that conclusion I'll never really be sure. I quickly looked through my bags I had yet to unpack and got out my black pants black button up cardigan and a pair of boots Mal sent to me on my birthday a few years back, and last but not least my dad's old ring. I pushed the ladder out and climbed my way up to the main hall so I could start working on breakfast before everyone got up.

"Morning there" Mal said from behind me

"Ta ma de (damn it) Mal you scared the shit out of me". I finished pulling the ladder closed and turned to new captian.

"You're up early" I said suspiciously. I'm usually the only one up at this hour not even Kaylee and Wash are awake

"I'm captain on this here ship I wake when I feel like it" Mal replied while we walked towards the kitchen next to one another.

"If you say so. So what do you really want to talk about" I asked. Mal took a seat at the table at the same time I walked behind the counter and got out a couple pans so I could start cooking.

"Just wanted to tell you I'm happy to have you on the ship. Me you and Zoe got a special bond. We fought together and can't nothing change that. You'll always be my _mei mei_ (little sister)". I smiled it isn't always that Mal gives an emotional speech.

"And to me you'll will always be my _ge ge_, but don't tell Wash I said it.

"And why not"? I could tell Mal starting to enjoy this conversation and for all the wrong reasons.

"He's convinced I don't like him, and that aint the case I'm just still getting to know him. When Zoe wrote to me that she was getting married I just didn't picture her being with someone so… mild"

Mal tried to keep it in for a couple seconds, but I could practically see the strain on his face before his laughter ripped through the kitchen

"Come on Mal it's not that funny. And on top of that I got work to do so why don't you take yourself back to your bunk. You're distracting me.

"Fine see you in few" Mal said and walked off back down to his bunk.

I continued to get the cans out of the cabinets in the back, and couldn't help but think how nice it would be to touch down somewhere to get some herbs and fresh ingredients and less instant just add water _go se_ (dog crap). I mean seriously powdered eggs and canned milk and not condensed milk either its regular milk. I swear this ships got all the canned fruits and vegetables in the gorram verse. The only real foods here are what I brought with me and that aint much honestly.

I started with scrambled eggs and then moved on to the bacon and toast; along with a pot of coffee with some coffee liqueur I picked up from a trader on Persephone a few years back. When I finished I walked over to the com and called everyone up. I laid the plates out on the table and placed the food in the center while everyone filed in and sat down.

"Alright guys you know the drill by now what am I making today" I asked and got back behind the counter

"Oatmeal, grits, or cream of wheat …well canned milk of wheat really. I wouldn't opt for the last one if I were you".

"Grits" everyone but Inara replied

"Cream of wheat for you" I asked?

"If it's not too much trouble" I shook my head gently and got out some extra pans and spoons so I could finish up breakfast.

"Hey Zel why the hot cereal every mornin' for breakfast"? Kaylee asked.

"Well growin up mom said it isn't breakfast without it so I always make some… but I can always stop if it's not to …"

"NO" Jayne, Mal and,Wash shouted; effectively cutting me off.

"Okay then give me a few minutes I'll have everything out on the table soon".

Once the rest of the food was done I went around the table and piled a bit onto everyones plate before takin a seat next to Zoe and Jayne. I piled some grits into a bowl and took a piece of bacon.

"Yah know to be a cook you don't eat much" Jayne stated.

"Well I'm rationing the food. We only have a little while before we end up eating protein packs. I'm not sure how long though; I'm planning takin a look through everything. And despite the fact that none of you will talk about what you really do I'm no fool." The room was silent. Everyone even Inara stopped and looked at me. "Seeing as we'll be off world most of the time I think it's in everyone's best interest that we take a close look at what we're putting in. I have a job that expends the least amount of energy out of everyone so I take less." I explained.

"Zelene we used to do that during the war no need for that now" Zoe said

I picked up my bowl and spoon and continued eating while I stared my sister down not breaking for a second.

"Stubborn" she murmured under her breath and continued to finish up her food; Zoe forever the big sister. I swear she thinks she's my mother half the time. She isn't even that much older than me.

"You would know. Anybody want coffee. It's got alcohol in it?"

Disclaimer unfortunately I don't own anything except my OC zelene


	2. Chapter 2

When Zoe said her little sister was gonna be joining us, I'll be the first to admit I wasn't lookin' forward to o tourist commin' on the ship. Usually anyone that aint a part a the crew just brings trouble either brings trouble or just gets in the way; Zelene aint been no trouble though really. She cooks good… real good, and not to mention she's nice to look at ya know; nice rack, pretty face, and let's just say I don't mind when she's walkin away. Kinda nice to have someone to look at that aint married whorin' for the alliance or young enough to be…to be…well real young.

She was walkin' around again in the cargo bay helping Zoe organize some of the stuff we had layin' around. I wasn't really worried about the stuff I just wanted to see the two of em' bend over again. I aint no gentleman, and I don't pretend to be either. I took seat on the weight bench and started workin 'out with a couple dumbbells while taken a glance every once in a while until Mal came in.

"Jayne Zoe we got a job; salvage so we'll be comin' up on it in an hour so get ready to suit up." He said. I put my weights back on the floor while Zoe and Mal walked over to where I was next to the stairs.

"Who's the job from sir." Zoe asked?

"Our old friend on Persephone "Mal said and went up the catwalk.

"Well meet you down here in a few" Zoe said and walked up behind the captain until she was out of sight. I picked up my weights again and started lookin' at Zelene again. She was head first into one of the bins struggling with something. The right thing to do would be to help her, but why would a man give up a view like that. She was in a short skirt with some flowers on it. The farther she got in the bin the more the skirt started to ride up.

"Hey Jayne If you're gonna stare the least you could do is come help" Zelene said. Shit I thought she didn't know.

" I aint lookin' Zelene " I lied and put my weights down

"Whatever just come over here and help. I can't get this damn part out of the bin for Kaylee." I got up and walked across the room to her where she was still bent over struggling.

"Stop yer movin'" I said and picked her up and moved her over to the side. Her black button up shirt that used to be all neat and tucked in was ruffled, wrinkled, and half way out her skirt now. Plus her hair was all over and tangled. I could she was tryin' to fix herself up but it didn't help much.

"Where do you want this I asked after I picked up the large metal part of the engine?" I asked

She looked around the room for a few seconds and then pointed over to the corner.

"Over there if that's alright" I grunted in response and moved the goods over to where she told me to put em.

"Thanks Jayne. I'd still be halfway in the gorram crate right about now."

"No problem" I walked back to my bench and picked up the dumbbells again. Zelene started towards the stairs before she stopped and turned to me.

" Jayne just two things before I go upstairs. One call me Zel almost everyone else does, and two if I catch you lookin' anywhere but my face again I'll gut you. Dong ma? (Understand)"She said while she smiled and walked away.

I sat there for a minute shocked I guess you could say. Lips like that aint supposed to utter threatnin 'words.

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Zoe Mal and I were standin' in the cargo bay ready to head out to some wrecked alliance cruiser. I wasn't too happy to be doin' a salvage job, but a job is a job.

"Hey guys you got everything you need" Zel asked while she came down the catwalk. This was the first time I'd seen her since she threatened me not but a few minutes ago. She didn't seem mad so I took that as a good sign, and hoped she wouldn't say nothin' to Mal or Zoe.

"No were good; just hook our suits up to the oxygen pack would ya" Mal told her. Zelene walked over to Zoe first and strapped the two tubes from her helmet to the small box on her back and then did the same for Mal before commin' over to me. Even with her shoes on she was still real short. Well shorter than me at least.

"Uhh Jayne I need you to stoop down a bit"

"Sorry" I said and got down a bit lower. Zel got me all hooked up.

"Got him all hooked up munchkin" Zoe asked. Zelene's face dropped. I guess Zoe had a point she's short as hell.

"Don't you start" Zelene said and walked back towards the stairs. "If it's all the same to you three I'm gonna go up to the bridge with Wash. Be safe."

I knew I was pressin' my luck lookin but it's hard for a man who aint been around available women in who knows how long.

"Avert your gorram eyes" Mal said from behind me.

"Shu mah(What)? It aint like I touched her yet or nothing".

"Yet…Uhh how bout you aint ever gonna touch her". Mal was pissed. I could see it on his face. I didn't mean for it to come out quite like that though.

"You act like she's a kid she aint but what… 3 years younger than Zoe" I said.

"4 and I with the captain in this one" Zoe said. I looked between the two of em. Maybe it would just better to leave this bird alone. She's got a brother and sister who don't mind killin' me.

"Whatever lets just get this job done" I said and pressed the button for the air lock. The three of us moved through the wreckage quickly; accaordin' to Mal the goods are supposed to be in some air tight lock.

"Alright it should be farther down in the part of the cruiser that's still intact. " Mal said. We slowly scaled the side of one of the broken panels careful not to slip or move to far away. Start floatin' off to far and it's all over; can't nobody get you back.

"

"I think I see it get the gel out" Zoe said. A few yards down there was part of the ship that had broken off.

"The vaults sealed; okay I'm gonna boil it. Jayne give me the sticky" Mal said. I handed him the glue gun so he could apply around the edge of the handle. We watched as the gel ate through the metal door until the handle that we melted off flew past out heads, and released a bunch of air from inside the vault.

"Full pressure, must mean the good are intact" Zoe said as we all moved over to the small opening to get a look at what we were nabbing.

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FYI I'm probably not going to stick 100% to the script for the most part; but it will be similar for the scenes and chapters that appear in the show.

Disclaimer As I've stated previously I don't own Firefly or Serenity or any of its characters etc…


	3. Chapter 3

-All of Zelene's outfits for all chapters can be found through the link on my profile-

Zelene sat in the co captain's chair partly in confusion and partly in amusement. Confused as to why her sister married the strange pilot, but amused by his antics at the same time. Wash was currently playing with a few plastic dinosaurs while he, Zelene and Kaylee waited for the others to get back from the wrecked alliance cruiser.

"Curse you and your inevitable betrayal" he shouted in a strange gruff voice while he made the two toys fight. "Oh god oh dear god in heaven" Zelene couldn't help but laugh what the hell had her sister gotten herself into. For a while everything was going as planned until the alarms started going off.

"What was that" Zelene asked. Wash dropped his toys and took a look at the radar.

"Son of a bitch" He exclaimed and got on the radio that connected to Mal Zoe and Jayne.

"Captain we've got some incoming cruisers".

"Have they spotted us" Mal asked?

"No".

"Have they hailed us"?

"Zelene do you have anything over there in your side " Wash asked her while looking at his own monitors.

"No. Were clear so far".

Outside Jayne was on edge the last thing he wanted to do today was get taken in by the feds.

"They find us for the salvage we're humped" he said to the others.

"They find us at all we're humped" Zoe replied. Mal looked between the two and decided to start on plan B.

"Alright turn off everything but the air" He said through his radio to Wash and Zelene. Jayne finished getting everything out of the cargo hold and handed the crates foo the Mal and Zoe.

Meanwhile on the ship Wash was busy flipping switches.

"Kaylee go to black out; Zel flip the switch over there it's the big red one above you."

"This one" she asked while pointing to the one that appeared to be right.

"Yeah perfect". Serenity was pitch black aside from a few buttons that lit up on on the ships dash.

"They slow down any" Mal asked over the radio.

"That's a neg" Wash said

"Same over here" Zelene replied. The two continued to look at the monitors until they heard more beeping.  
"Shit" Zelene shouted Wash looked around and grabbed the radio again.

"Captain were humped"

"Alright Zoe Jayne let's get this stuff back to the ship double time". Jayne trailed behind Mal and Zoe a little bit of adrenalin rushing through him.

"So how often does this kinda stuff happen you guys" Zelene asked Wash as they started Serenity back up.

"Often enough"

"Wash Cry baby cry" Mal said

"Make your mother cry. You got it captain engaging the crybaby" Wash finished.

"Cry baby" Zelene asked

"Yeah it's a fake distress signal Kaylee and I put together".

"That's quite a distraction. Anyway I'm gonna go help the others unload downstairs." Zelene said with a smile and then walked away. Even though she didn't see how Zoe and Wash could possibly be happy together she had to admit he wasn't half bad. She walked through the front hall and down the stairs to the cargo bay where the others were just getting in.

"We're lookin' shiny captain. We aren't being followed" Wash said over the com.

Zelene sat at the bottom of the stairs and waited for Jayne to pull the crates all the way in while Mal and Zoe started talking.

"Zel go over there and give the crowbar to Jayne" Zoe said and pointed to the far wall.

Zelene got up and grabbed the crowbar and made her way over to Jayne who was busy getting his last leg out of his suit.

"Here you go, should I call down Wash and Kaylee" She asked.

"Yeah thanks. Oh about earlier today …

"Don't worry about it I'm giving you a pass. I didn't tell Mal or anyone else. However if you try it again just don't get caught. I'll hold to my promise, and nobody wants that. You don't want the pain and I don't want mess to clean up with afterwards." Zelene said and walked over to the com.

As much as Jayne hated to admit it he was kinda turned on. Dangerous women were hard to come by, and dangerous defiantly fell into Jayne's list of things to look for in a woman.

"What's wrong with you" Mal asked from behind him.

"Nothin' let's get that crate open".

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The whole crew stood behind Jayne and Mal waiting for the big unveil. Jayne popped the lid open; at least 200 + shiny bars sat stacked on top of each other.

"Well aren't they pretty Kaylee said to no one in particular.

"yeah well if they are what I think they are they look a lot better than they taste" Zelene replied. She'd had something similar on a ship she took one and it had to have been the foulest thing she'd ever had.

"Well no matter how gross they may be its well worth the risk" Wash commented.

"Yeah that was some pretty risky sittin' yall did there" Jayne said sarcastically. Wash and Zelene look at one another and shook their heads. Insane Zelene silently mouthed to him as wash nodded in agreement.

"Yeah because I can always say I was flying by accident" Wash said while Zoe and Zelene laughed

"Bizui(shut up)" Mal said.

"There a problem captian" Zoe asked and leaned over his shoulder to give the goods a closer look.

"Can't say for sure but we best be gettin' rid of these soon before we run into another alliance cruiser" Mal finished and put the lid back on before talking to Wash and Zoe. Zelene Jayne and Kaylee started moving some of the crates over to the far wall by the stairs.

"The hell they doin' this far out anyway" Jayne asked

"Just shinin' the light of civilization I guess" Kaylee said Zelene scooted a nother crate over by the others and laughed

"And if by shinin' the light of civilization you mean killin,' rapin', ruinin' lives then yeah that's what they're doing" Zelene said bitterly. "Where do we store this stuff anyway?"

"Right under these here stairs behind the wall and get them stowed good we don't any tourist trippin' over the goods." Mal said once Zoe and Wash went up stairs.

"We're takin' up passengers one Persephone " Kaylee asked. Jayne scoffed and unlatched the

"Don't ya think we already got one tourist too many" Jayne said in reference to Zelene. Seriously she thought to herself.

"Last time I checked tourist don't cook" Zelene said smugly and helped Kaylee pick up another crate. Jaynes face dropped.

"Look now I didn't mean it like that. I'm just sayin' any more new people would just be a pain in the ass" he defended. Zelene just looked at him sternly and slid the crate all the way in the tiny opening.

"Come on Jayne it'll be shiny" Kaylee said." They all got new stories and stuff".

"Captain can you stop her from being cheerful." Jayne asked while he helped Mal lug the last crate. "Cant a thing in the verse stop her from being cheerful. True sometimes I want to duct tape her mouth and throw her in throw her in the hold and see what happens" Mal said as he closed up the panel in the wall.

"I don't know about the hold but I'll sit on her while you get out the duct tape" Zelene chipped in. Kaylee just laughed and gave Mal a kiss on the cheek before making her way up stairs.

"Aint that sweet" Zelene said. "I'm gonna go get some sleep before morning", and walked up the stairs after Kaylee.

"I think its best we follow their lead. Just make sure your guns are ready before you turn in for the night.

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"Were landing in an hour so everybody get ready" Mal said over the com. Zelene woke up and stretched then headed straight for her sink. Once she was all washed up she got out her long sleeve blue midi dress with her blue boots and her dads ring. Once she was dressed she grabbed applied some light make up plus dark red lipstick and grabbed her cardigan and garter belt with two small knives. She made her way through the front hall and into the kitchen and got to work on breakfast.

"Eggs, Bacon, and Oatmeal in the galley in 5 guys" She called over the com and finished preparing things on the table. Zelene's voice and the prospect of food woke Jayne from his slumber. He spent a couple hours resting and now he was ready for the day ahead. Once he got up and washed he made his way to the kitchen where the rest of the crew bustled and talked about their plans.

"Oh Jayne there you are after breakfast were all heading out the sooner we get paid the better" Mal said.

"Sure captain" Jayne replied .Everyone ate quickly and made their way down to the cargo bay.

"Alright everyone Inara's gonna meet us here soon give her 2 three hours. It shouldn't take too long to get paid. So wash you fill her up" Mal said before walking off to talk to Kaylee about the new passengers.

"Alright I'll see you later" Zelene told Zoe before walking off. "Be careful" Zoe called out to her.

Zelene turned around and huffed "Ok mom". Zelene went off in search of some fresh foods but Evesdown Docks isn't exactly the place for that. She ended her hunt when she noticed Jayne Zoe and Mal going into a familiar ret of blue trailers.

They can't be she thought. They're not crazy enough to do business with badger. Zelene made her way through the crowd.

"Idiots" she muttered fright before she reached the opening of Badgers office area. She used to cook for the criminal lunatic and his crew a while back but left on good terms once she noticed him dealing more and more with the slave traitors. Right at the entrance she noticed a familiar face.

"Lewis...is that you" She asked cutely and twirled her hair around her finger.

"Hey muffin fancy seein' you around here" He said. Lewis was always a good guard but a sucker for women all brawn no brains and Zelene planned to use that to her advantage.

"Oh well I was just in town I figured I'd stop by and say hi. Is Badger her my any chance" she asked and took a step closer.

"Uhh...uh yeah but he's a little busy" Lewis replied.

"Oh really well that's too bad. Not that I wouldn't love to sit a talk to you though I just really need to talk to him before I take off. Can't you make an exception" She asked and rubbed his bicep.

"Sure just for you"

"Thanks a lot I owe you one" Zelene said with a wink and walked through the maze like halls of Badgers quarters. Working with criminal's, convicts and thieves had helped her big time with her acting. She learned quickly that most men were suckers for a helpless woman. Zelene made her way to Badger's office and just in the nick of time. She could here Jayne say something about Badger being a puddle of piss. He's even more of a fool than I thought she said to herself.

"Badger is that you" She asked as she came in. Jayne had a firm hand on his gun but as far as fire power was concerned he was severely out gunned and as a group they were out manned.

"Zelene is that you. Long tome no see" Badger said.

"Yeah I see you've met my new crew" She said and walked over to Jayne and eased his hand off his gun.

"This is who you work for these days" He asked " well you couldn't have picked a worse group their too much trouble to trade with plus the big one is disrespectful. I have half a mind to put a bullet in him" Badger went on.

"Oh you couldn't possibly mean Jayne here"

"That's exactly who I mean"

"You can't shootem' though. Baby you didn't mean whatever you said right" Zelene said as convincingly as possible.

"Uh yeah… right" Jayne said

"Good" she said and gave him a kiss on the lips. "See no need to put any bullets in anybody".

Badger motioned for his men to lower their guns as Zelene laced her fingers through Jayne's and gently held onto his arm with her other hand.

"Don't you two look cute? Frankly I think she coulda done better. Plus doesn't a certain captain have rules about on board love" Badger asked and walked towards them.

"What can I say you can't stop true love; now about them goods" Mal said to change the subject.

"Sargent Malcome Reynolds you just don't get 're in my goram den and I don't like your attitude. I'm a business man and you're just a scavenger" the much shorter man said and got in Mal's face.

"I'm not a fancy business man but I came here to do business" Mal said and took a step closer to Badger.

"Try a border planet their desperate enough" Badger said and moved back to his desk while the Serenity crew was ushered out.

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Next chapter Zelene and Zoe have some sister time

I don't own Firefly/ Serenity


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